Love What it is and What it Ain’t
By Cassandra "Trinity" Anderson
Yippee Valentine’s Day is coming, the marketers scream from the television commercials equipped with cute little bears and candy while you, the one with a couple of somebody’s on your “to get for list”, sit on your sofa either wondering what yummy things you are going to buy your mom, boyfriend, or best friend. Then on the other hand, there’s the other you and you know who you are, who have no boyfriend to speak of, may have lost your parent, sibling or can’t stand your teachers, and on top of it and you’re wishing the holiday with the hearts everywhere would just fade to black, like a bad scene in a movie then cut! Well if either applies, before you whip out your wallet, or hop in cutie pies ride, or vow to just be a depressed coach potato this time around, I invite you to do something liberating! After all, 2008 is said to represent the #8, which means new beginnings. So, why not take some new reigns on the way you spend this Valentine’s day, and keep the love flowing for yourself and loved ones all throughout this new year on into infinity. Let’s start the liberation process, by first getting to the heart of what it’s all about, come on be honest with yourself ladies what does this holiday of gifts really mean to you? Is it the excitement of liking the swagger of a handsome guy a whole lot? Goose bumps when he calls? A fluttering stomach when he doesn’t? An opportunity to see if he really loves you the way those late calls claims he does, by examining where he says he’s going to take you on this special day or if he will even call you at all before 12 midnight that is. Is it assorted boxes of chocolates from Sees? Or what about little hearts and cards from friends and family- those are nice right? Do sparkly things in packages send you to the moon? An outing with the girls? Pain? Love? Love, “so many people use its name in vain”, the artist Musiq sang the lyrics best in his hit song a few years ago. I mean approx 95% of girls declare Valentines to be about this word but I promise I have yet to hear a clear definition oftthe word and believe that the statistics of teen pregnancy, drugs abuse in young adults and some drop outs, would point fingers to that word “love” again and again. That culprit “love”, that single handedly drives young beautiful women to loose the good sense God done gave them, is at it again! Is that how you view love? Like person making you do things or an emotion big as an ocean wave that sweeps you over, and your only job is to get caught up in it, and ride it wherever it leads? Cowabunga! Man, that ‘s romantic right? But wait what if you can’t swim and the ocean is too deep. Oh who needs a life vest, it will be alright, right? It’s love you say.
Or what about those of us who see those eyes of his batting at us and then bam, “fall in love”, as the verbiage goes? Aah, how dreamy? Or maybe this is you, you know you who claim to not love no dude at all, nah not you girl, you’re in control, you ain’t tripping on no Valentine stuff ya’ll just friends anyway you swear, yet you keep giving this, “non love” (just your precious body the only one you have) to this “friend’ and now you’re trying not to act jealous that you heard from such and such he may be taking Suzy homebody to the movies on Valentine’s Day instead of you. What Suzie? How could this be? “She’s homey!”, you say, then resort to, “oh well it’s no big deal, we got this understanding that he can see other people,” But wait, when you think about it, why does it always seem one sided as in he can, but you better not! No big deal you’re straight, you’re cool. Girl please, no you’re not! Valentine’s Day is coming and every commercial and virtually every movie has eluded to the fact that you don’t really want to be alone they say, and that on top of everything else regarding the above examples has you pining about what you are going to do about this thing called love. Well like I once had to do after tripping down a few steps with my blindfold, I’d suggest you do the same, lose the blind folds, the choke holds and sober up to the reality of the true meaning of love not the counterfeit, and not the manufacturing sound bites or gifts with tags.
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Loving God Love is so much bigger. And its price was steep, paid for you and me by Jesus on Calvary. It’s about loving the God who created the definition, through his sacrifice (John 3:16) Then using the true definition of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-13) to not only apply to how you love others but using the words in “love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not self seeking, it is not easily angered”, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. For example for how you love and treat yourself. If you’re anything like me it’s just easier to love others more than you because, then you don’t have to face you. But when you start feeling the dirt sliding out from the ditch you maybe starting to dig for yourself it’s time to reconnect. Let this Valentine’s season beckon your heart to a higher standard of love. Valentine Liberation So now here’s the fun, Valentine liberation time. Ready? Whip out that red lipstick or whatever you rock, and draw on your personal mirror your name for example, say Shonika, then write after Shonika…is God’s princess, draw a big heart around it. Then embellish your mirror with positive affirmations about you, even those things that aren’t manifested yet, still go for it! For example you want to be a giver, or a millionaire. Write it anyway until it becomes true! Be patient with you, by quieting the voices of your mind that tell you that you will never become what you dream of. This, Valentine’s toss negativity about you, out of your mind, and vocabulary. Spend the day before Valentine’s Then go a deeper step into your Valentine liberation and make yourself a personal collage of your future goals career wise, ministry wise, wealth wise, family wise, love wise, and let this vision board or prayer board as some like me and my friend Wilda call it, be the foundation by which you either let things in or out of your life. As Habakkuk 2:2 says “write the vision, and make it plain”... Note all these steps can be done in a scrap book that you can open and close for privacy. Look at all the words in first Corinthians seeing how you can better love you and others, for example try forgiving someone this year for the holiday. Just as long as you see above all the hype that Valentine is one day within a lifetime you’ve left to enjoy. So no matter what this Valentine Day 2008 is wrapped up with, I pray you do a new thing, and make it the best time, the most precious time you’ve ever spent with the most amazing part of God’s love puzzle, you! Happy Valentine’s to you! Contact Cassandra Anderson Bouttimeent@hotmail.com for more info about her DVD release Black Woman’s Guide to Getting Married.
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